trying to decide whether or not to do an hour of tae bo before bed...yes it is quarter of two in the morning and i have to get up by ten to go see about insurance for my car (put a deposit down on that silver Prizm, sweet little car, i love it but i can't officially have it till next week after the funds get transferred) but i don't want to go to bed, i'm exhausted in just about every sense of the word but too pissed off to care, you may or may not know why. yeah, still in a bad mood. on top of it, when i do get sleep, i don't get anough of it because lately theres always been something i have to go do and i can't just sleep the whole day. plus the shitty obnoxious dreams....i mean, last night i dreamt i was on a fucking lesbian cruise and i HATED IT. all the lesbians just annoyed me. i probly wouldn't make a very good lesbian, i'd do a lot of sleeping around because its hard for me to find girls i can stand. well anyway, i just don't want to sleep. i don't know what i want to do. once again sick of my life and totally devoid of motivation for anything except getting to the next world in Kingdom Hearts, and my patience with that is already wearing thin (just bought today but played it for a total of about 6-7 hours, beat Wonderland but hate Tarzan's jungle and can't beat Cerberus so can't do anything else....pissed off that Hundred Acre Wood is last, but happy that Halloween Town is next). really don't have the energy for that tae bo thing but might force myself to do it anyway, haven't worked out in a few days (don't remember how many, who fucking cares when every day is this dull and depressing).

don't try to drag me out of this by saying "lets hang out" because then i'll have to make an excuse to not hang out, and i don't want to have to do that again. i'm sick of people, i had to see people for almost a whole week straight and it was too much. once a month is fine for me, thanks. people wear me out too much. (this excludes Katey because i almost never get to see her and we can never do enough catching up.)

however, if you'd like to sit there patiently while i silently sob and bitch about the same things over and over, youre more than welcome to IM me anytime. i'm not looking for input, just want to vent to the wrong people.

i still dont want to work out because i know i dont have the energy and it sucks anyway.

this is gonna be one of those weeks where i hold back tears on the way to my insanely fucking shitty job, cry in the dishroom, scream obscenities when i get home and then spend the rest of the day curled up in bed hating everything. havent had one of those in a while....and its not pms this time either, woohoo!

no cheer up comments allowed or i will hate you forever.